Tables Turned Once More
by aretaraer
Summary: **The Sequel to: Harry Potter and the Really Bad Fanfic** Harry found a way to turn things for the better, after experiencing something worse than death. Finding a way to turn it on Voldemort, he does what any good-natured boy would do, get revenge.
1. Default Chapter

A/N: This is the sequel to "Harry Potter and the Really Bad Fanfic", so if you haven't read that.go read it!!! Remember to review!  
  
Chapter One:  
  
Voldemort smirked, and began talking to himself,  
  
"Harry should still be in the fanfic by now, I should just kill him and get it over with. Although it was quite interesting. Hmm.how about Black kills him? Yes, that would work. He could be looking for his long-lost daughter, Hermione, who is dead, of course. Trelawney could be the mother, who would really be Pomfrey in disguise."  
  
He plotted possible endings for the next couple hours, when a small chat bubble appeared on the screen. It was from the screen-name "I_Lived". It must be Harry. As he read the messages, a small smirk flickered over his face. Harry was surrendering. Not just surrendering. Sucking up surrendering. Kiss-my-boots sucking up. He shuddered slightly, Potter had been a formidable foe in previous years, even as a child (that's what made him shudder-the memory of his soul being ripped from his body.) This was all too easy, he smirked arrogantly. He replied quickly to his messages, and finally was sent a link..after four hours.  
  
He hated computers, they were filthy pieces of muggle garbage and would be the first to go when he took over the world.  
  
He clicked the link Harry sent, and suddenly he felt the room and himself swirl. He felt his body swirl into the computer, and realized too late what was happening. A new assumption occurred in his mind - Harry Potter was a formidable enemy.  
  
There was only a little bit of time, "Guards! Crabbe! Goyle! Malfoy! Boldova!"  
  
They came to an empty room, the place Voldemort would soon pine for. 


	2. Would You Like a Toffee?

A/N: Sorry if the chapters are really short, but we want to just get the chapters loaded  
  
Chapter Two: It's Not A Small World After All  
  
Voldemort felt himself fall into a small boat, it didn't hurt badly- even if he could feel pain. His ears twitched for a moment, was that music playing? Suddenly, the little boat started moving, and turned a corner. He was indoors, and the boat was on a track. He glanced around for any signs of where he could be. Without warning, music started to play, the worst music he had heard in his life.  
  
"IT'S A SMALL WORLD AFTER ALL! IT'S A SMALL WORLD AFTER ALL! IT'S A SMALL WORLD AFTER ALL! IT'S A SMALL, SMALL, SMALL, WORLD!"  
  
As the song continued, pink figures popped out of the walls and started dancing, sugarplums fell from the ceiling. Voldemort's eyes flashed angrily at the sound, and he looked over the edge of the boat. His reflection, it was so weird. He had a nose, his skin was normal colored, he had dark hair. He was young again. But worst of all, his eyes! They.were.not.red!?!?!  
  
I spent so long trying to get them that way! Noooooooooo!  
  
"IT'S A WORLD OF LAUGHTER, A WORLD OF TEARS."  
  
He whipped out a wand, he would silence those stupid pink figures.  
  
"STUPEFY!"  
  
Out of his wand popped silk flowers. He ripped the flowers out, and threw them angrily at the figures. They turned into butterflies as they neared them. The ride was slowly coming to a halt, when a man appeared.  
  
"That's is it. The ride is over. I hope you had a happy-good day. I love you all."  
  
Voldemort raised his wand,  
  
"AVADA KEDAVRA!"  
  
A little flag that said "BANG" popped out.  
  
"Wow! That is cool. Thanks for riding. Here's your cotton candy!"  
  
The man handed Voldemort a pink cotton candy and Voldemort threw it in the mud.  
  
"Where am I, muggle?"  
  
"Muggle?"  
  
"Where am I, answer me or die!"  
  
"We don't diet here, we are always in shape and happy."  
  
"No, you stupid fool. Just tell me where we are."  
  
"We are in the land where wizards and not-quite wizards live happily together, we live in 'HappyVille', which takes up the entire planet! Have a nice day! Today is Sing-A-Long day!"  
  
Voldemort backed away from the man and started running. He looked around for a store, there were lots of them. One for candy, and puppies, and wedding rings, and baby ducks. Then he found what he was looking for, a "Things For Happy Not-Quite Wizards". He ran in, and slammed his hand on the counter.  
  
"GIVE ME A COMPUTER, NOW!"  
  
An elderly clerk wearing a smile-y face patch approached the counter.  
  
"Hello, would you like a toffee?"  
  
"NO! GIVE ME A COMPUTER! NOW!"  
  
"Com.pu.ter?"  
  
"A FILTHY MUGGLE BOX WITH PICTURES"  
  
"A television for mugs?"  
  
"It's something for.uh.happy, not-quite wizards."  
  
His eyes twitched, it was so painful to utter those words. Harry would pay, so would this clerk.  
  
"Oh! You mean a PC?"  
  
"YES!! YES!! GIVE IT TO ME!"  
  
"Alright."  
  
The elderly man left, twenty minutes later, he returned.  
  
"A Post Card. Here you go. It's free."  
  
Voldemort angrily shook his head,  
  
"NO! THAT'S NOT WHAT I WANT!"  
  
The elderly man's head cocked to the side,  
  
"Do you want a toffee?"  
  
"NO! I WANT A COMPUTER!! GIVE IT TO ME!!"  
  
"Oh, you want a mug?"  
  
"NO!! A COMPUTER, YOU DOLT!"  
  
"Here's a postcard, for free!"  
  
"No, I WANT.Urg, Forget it. Blast Your Eyes, you old fool."  
  
"Yes, I do have glasses on my eyes. Would you like a toffee?"  
  
Voldemort had already left, he continued running, fear evident in his eyes. If he had to live the rest of his life here..he'd rather die.  
  
He saw a large sign that said "This Way To Tommy Riddle's Happy Home For Friendly Folks".  
  
His mind reeled, I'll go there, find my supporters, and see if anyone else knows what's going on.  
  
As he stood in front of his house, his jaw dropped. 


	3. The Spawn of the Dark Lord

A/N: I apologize in advance for the trash you are about to read, and for taking so long to manufacture it. Thank you, and please don't throw up.  
  
Chapter Three: Spawn of the Dark Lord --  
  
What Voldemort saw made his insides shrivel. "His" house was pink, with a bright neon sign that said "Mr. and Mrs. Riddle's Happy Home!" There was a cutesy mailbox that looked as if it was inflated. Plastic pink flowers grew in front of the house. This was just wrong. He glanced at the sign again, Mrs. Riddle? As soon as he dared to think it, loud voices cried out!  
  
"Hi Tommy, darling, honey-bear, sweetie-muffin pie!"  
  
"DADDY!"  
  
"DADDY!"  
  
"DADDY!"  
  
Twenty children rushed out of the small house, followed by a woman with bushy brown hair. She ran up to him and hugged him, while the children tugged on his sleeve. A happy smile crossed her face,  
  
"It's times like this I am so glad I changed you from the evil creature you could've become if I hadn't gone back in time with a special timeturner given to me by King Dumbledore in the alternate future when I was best friends with Harry Potter. Oh, oops, I shouldn't of said that."  
  
Voldemort's lip curled,  
  
"King Dumbledore? Wait.Harry Potter?"  
  
"Yes, the one I named all twenty children after."  
  
"Twenty.children?"  
  
Suddenly three of the boys ran up to Voldemort,  
  
"Daddy, Daddy!"  
  
He glanced at the face of the small boy. A Harry Potter replica. Even the girls looked like Harry Potter, except their hair was a bit longer, and their middle names were Amethyst Raindrop. He looks at all the children, they were all mini-Potters.  
  
She smiled, "Aren't they cute? Oh, look who's here!"  
  
Three huge, brightly-colored monstrosities with TV's in their stomachs (Teletubbies) bounced towards Voldemort.  
  
"Want a flower, la la la la?"  
  
He screamed as he tried to run, all previous "cool-guy" dispositions gone. He tripped over one of the Potter replicas, and the green-eyed child started to cry. He slapped the boy on the cheek,  
  
"Shut-up you brat."  
  
The whole town went silent, everyone looked at Voldemort. The little kid ran away back to his mother, who screamed loudly at her husband.  
  
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING!? YOU'RE GOING TO ANGER MANAGEMENT CLASS!"  
  
Voldemort's fearful eyes dilated, he was suddenly there, for no reason at all. Something dawned on him, why was their an anger management class in the first place? He was the only one there, besides the twenty anger management teachers. What is it about the number twenty he wondered? The counselor stepped out of his office,  
  
"Come right this way, Tommy. Your wonderful, beautiful, articulate, sophisticated, worthy, loving."  
  
Voldemort stared at the red hair, this must be a Weasley. Twenty minutes later,  
  
".caring, delicate, strong, wife, Hermione called. Step right this way."  
  
Following the redheads lead, Voldemort entered his anger therapy class. Taking a seat, the torture began. 


	4. A Day With Daddy

A/N: PLEASE check out "FuriousYak" and her stories, she's the coauthor of this WONDERFUL piece of trash. Sorry for the huge gap between publishing days, but the garbage truck only comes once a week..  
  
Chapter Four: A Day With Dad  
  
"Now, Mr. Tommy. I see you have an anger management problem. Has it something to do with your family life?"  
  
Voldemort just stonily stared; twenty Potter replicas, teletubbies, and toffees. How much more could he take?  
  
The red-haired man continued, "So, I thought I'd introduce."  
  
A sparkling curtain appeared, and drumroll music started to play,  
  
"Your.DADDY!"  
  
Voldemort's eyes bulged slightly, and the edge of his lip twitched. He automatically gripped his wand, despite its uselessness.  
  
"I killed him years ago."  
  
"Hiya son! So ya wanta go KILL sometime, yeah, let's KILL some time by going to play ball! I bet you could MURDER me at batting, with this KILLER bat. But watch out, my swing is as swift as DEATH."  
  
Voldemort's teeth grinded very hard, certain words appeared to pop out of his speech. Before he could respond,  
  
"Or we can go to the Harry Potter Museum?"  
  
"I'd love to go KILL you with a baseball bat, father of mine who deserted my mother."  
  
His father beamed, "That's wonderful son! I'd love to, that's the SPIRIT!" -- Later that day, they arrived at a bright green field, with friendly trees around them. The trees had happy faces painted on them, and were waving wildly while doing cheers.  
  
"Son, why don't you pitch to me? Let's see that KILLER curve of yours and if you can drive it SIX FEET UNDER."  
  
Voldemort's eyes twitched, as a maniac gleam came into his eyes. He wound back, and threw the ball with intense speed towards his father's head. The ball bounced off his head,  
  
"What a great throw!"  
  
Twenty throws later,  
  
"What a great throw! Now you get to HIT the ball with a LARGE, HEAVY, BLUNT object. SMASH the ball to BLOODY pieces."  
  
He ground his teeth once more, and prepared for the pitch. Swinging with all his might, he hit a homerun. The trees started dancing, and singing. Anger surged through his body, and he threw the bat at his father. It bounced off.  
  
"What a great throw!"  
  
Voldemort mumbled something incoherent, but was swiftly interrupted by his father.  
  
"Let's celebrate by a trip to the Harry Potter museum!"  
  
He shook his head,  
  
"No.No.you disgusting little man! I hate you, I want you dead! I killed you! You and your miserable muggle parents."  
  
"Y'mean Gramps and Grammy? They gave you those shorts!"  
  
Voldemort looked down and realized he was wearing baby blue shorts with pink stripes. A helicopter beanie was on his head and blew gently in the breeze. Suddenly, for no reason at all, he was in the Harry Potter museum. 


	5. Review ResponseNext Chapter Coming SOON!

-----  
  
Author's Note  
  
Thanks for all the great reviews, thought we'd (FuriousYak and I) clear some things up. So, since it's been a while since FuriousYak and I can work together to write more of this beloved piece of #@)#($U, I thought I'd give a little response to all the wonderful reviewers. Again, we'll probably be able to post the next chapter sometime soon! Sorry for the delay! I know how it feels, when there's a story you REALLY want to read, and you get all excited for the next chapter, and it's one of these "Response to Reviews" things. Actually, FY and I will probably write the next chapter (or at least parts of it) tomorrow.  
  
Chapter Four Q & A:  
  
"Xylophones 4 Tea" - um.your posts explain it all. (drugs are bad, VERY bad)  
  
"Voldie's Girl" - maybe you didn't read carefully enough. Harry wrote this story, why would he torture himself by making him with Draco? This is for Voldemort's torture, if you want to read about Harry's torture, read "Harry Potter and the Very Bad Fanfic", but please remember, Harry and Draco are NOT together in that fanfic either. It was Voldemort's idea just to see how horrible he could make Harry's life. Read it. Sure, MANY stories develop the Harry/Draco plot well, but we're not one of them.  
  
If any of you have any more questions, feel free to post.and I'm sorry it's taken so long. If it was up to me, this story would've been finished during Christmas break, but FY and I live pretty far apart, and it takes a while to meet up. Keep reviewing, keep reading, and we'll keep writing! 


	6. The Harry Potter Museum

Authors' Note: I (SpunkySimmy) have dragged FuriousYak to the computer by force, which is the only reason this chapter is published..sorry for the wait, and make sure to check out FY's stories!  
  
Chapter Five: The Harry Potter Museum  
  
Voldemort blinked once, this was not happening. This could not happen. All these happy people, and evil children, and conflicting plots. And now, of all places, he was in the "Harry Potter Museum." He was holding a Harry Potter shaped popsicle, disgusted, he threw it to the ground, but it bounced back with golden heart sprinkles shimmering out of it. And not only was he stuck holding this malignant form of sweet, it had left a picture of Harry Potter on the floor and his hand. It faded away, the sounds of Harry Potter's voice in the distance, for the popsicle began to speak.  
  
"Wow, who doesn't like me? Do you know who I am? Guess? Guess?"  
  
Voldemort's eyes narrowed and twitched slightly,  
  
"That's right!" It said all too happily, "I'm Harry Potter!" It gave a malignant sort-of grin and a wink. He noticed that all the waving pictures of Harry on the walls grinned at him with a smugness that could've been misinterpreted for gloating. Suddenly, all the pictures flickered, and emitted whispers, almost hisses, of Harry's voice.  
  
i "Ha ha ha.how do you like fanfictions now?"  
  
"How's the wife and kids?"  
  
"Nice hat!"  
  
"Awesome shorts! Pink really does suit you."  
  
"Would you like a toffee?"  
  
"Revenge is mine!" /i  
  
And with the sounds of cheerful laughter in the distance, the voices disappeared, leaving a terrified Tom Riddle crumbled on the ground. A random person, who seemed to appear out of nowhere, just in time to comfort him, did exactly that. Giving him a short pat on the back, and a cheery expression,  
  
"Are you alright?"  
  
Tom recoiled at the man's touch, yet began to relax. This man was just being friendly. And these people, they didn't expect anything of him. They didn't hate him for who he was. They accepted him unconditionally as one of their own. Surprisingly, Tom responded, although slightly confused. But he was starting to get the hang of this, this horrible, plot-conflicting world.  
  
"Uh yes, yes. Why do you ask?"  
  
The man gave a short chuckle, helping Tom up off the ground. Even more surprisingly, Tom let him. Suddenly, the man disappeared as soon as he came. And why were people always disappearing at key climax points? In fact, even the museum had disappeared. He was sitting on a bench swing, in the middle of a flowery garden. This was weird, the flowers smelt.kind of nice, and he was actually rather relaxed.  
  
Harry continued typing frantically, but what if he made a mistake? Like how Voldemort did? He didn't want to kill Voldemort, he wasn't that cruel. But he was cruel enough to want to keep him in there. Suddenly thinking of an idea, he saves the document on the disk. If the file was destroyed, the whole "Happy Land" world would too. And Voldemort would be freed. There was only one thing to do.  
  
"Hedwig, take this disk. Give it to Dumbledore. Hurry."  
  
The snowy white owl flew off into the night, a sudden thud jolted Harry, but that was just Dudley falling off of the chair.again. He heard plates and furniture falling over as well. But still, he had more important things on his mind. 


End file.
